Saying No to Nouns
by ArthM
Summary: "Latin is a language, as dead as dead can be. It used to kill the Romans, and now it's killing me." "Will, none of that statement is true. Stop complaining and start conjugating." Solangelo no-longer-a-oneshot about Nico and Will leaving CHB for New Rome.
1. Grammar by the Lake

**A slightly odd stand-alone oneshot prompted by a very old pun - one so venerable that St Augustine used it.** **As will become clear, in this, Nico and Will are nearing the end of their time at Camp. But they're not quite grown-up yet...**

 **Warning for gratuitous Latin, dull recitations of grammar, and Solangelo fluff.**

* * *

 **Saying No to Nouns**

* * *

 **Grammar by the Lake**

* * *

The grass was green, the water was blue, the sun was shining. And Will was complaining.

"I don't see why we have to do this, Nico. It's a lovely day, we're out by the lake, and you want me to _learn_ stuff!"

Nico raised his eyebrows at Will. His face was uncharacteristically drawn into a sulky pout (Nico recalled all the times when Will had criticised _him_ for that), his eyes were downcast, and even his hair, normally blonde and bouncy had sort-of wilted. So Will was going to be _that_ kind of pupil, was he?

" _Because_ if we're going to be living in New Rome, then you'll have to be able to understand some Latin."

Will huffed petulantly, picking at the grass. "They all speak English!"

"Not for official stuff," said Nico.

"Why? We don't speak Greek. Much."

Nico shrugged. "They're different. Stuffier, I know. But, whinge all you like, that's how they are." He patted Will on the knee. "Plus, it might even be helpful with your doctoring."

Will didn't look convinced. He tried batting his eyelashes at his boyfriend.

"That's not going to get you out of this."

Will groaned and flopped back onto the slope. Nico looked at him, unimpressed.

"Look, you've got a choice: you either do this with me - as I arranged with Chiron - _or_ you can join all the little kids in their elementary Latin classes."

"Nico…"

"I mean, those little plastic seats are cute, but I don't think you'll fully fit into one."

Will sat back up. "I'm eighteen now, Nico, not a little kid!"

"Well, then, stop acting like one and we can get on with the lesson. First conjugation present active indicative: _habito_."

"I bet Percy didn't have to do this…" muttered Will.

"Percy saved the world. Twice. He gets dispensation. _Habito_."

"Hey, I helped! We all did!"

"Doesn't matter. _Habito_."

"Um… _Habito -_ I dwell. First declension - uh - 'a' stems, right?" Will looked questioningly at Nico.

"I'm asking the questions, Will."

"Oh, fine. _Habito_ , _Habita-s_?" Will paused.

"Yeah, but that's not the whole thing, is it?"

"I hadn't finished! _Habito, habitas, habitat, habitamus, habita -_ er - _tis_ -"

" _Habit_ _ **er**_ _tis_?"

"I didn't say that. _Habit_ _ **a**_ _tis, habitant._ "

"Good. A bit slow, but OK."

"Gee thanks."

"You're welcome. _Moneo_?"

"I warn: _Moneo, mones, monet, monemus, monetis, monent._ "

"Very good. Now, third declension: _rego_."

"I rule. (And I do, Death Boy.) _Rego, regis, regit, regimus, regitis, regint._ "

"Close. _Regunt_ , not _regint._ It changes."

"Latin is a stupid language," groaned Will.

"It is what it is. _Id est quod est_ , if you will." Nico allowed himself a little smirk. Will had a fleeting desire to punch him.

"I won't. And, before you ask - I come: _venio, venis, venit, venimus, venitis, veniunt._ "

"Well remembered."

"Are we done now?" asked Will.

"Yes," said Nico. "Except if you want to do anything other than shout present-tense verbs at people."

"I'm open to that. Can we go swimming now?"

"No. Decline _rex_."

"No, thanks." Will grinned, smug.

"Ha. Ha." Nico fixed Will with a glare. "Do it."

"Or…?"

Nico leaned in close to Will's ear. "Or _else_." Will felt his cheek grow inexplicably cold.

" _Rex, rex, regem, regis, regi, rege_!" he burst out.

Nico sat back, his water bottle in his hands. "Knew you could do it." He opened it and drank. "Ahhh! Refreshing!"

Will merely rolled his eyes.

"I noticed that you didn't do the plural form…"

" _Reges, reges, reges, regum, regibus, regibus_." Will sighed. There really was no getting out of this.

"Translate?"

"The kings - subject, O kings, the kings - object, of the kings, to-or-for the kings, by-with-or-from the kings."

"Now decline _puella_ for me."

Will grinned. He brought Nico's hands in between his own and kissed them. "I already have, if you'd noticed. _Omni puellae_."

"You're not really using your homosexuality to get out of this, are you? Uh - and the kissing isn't going to work either. Though, if you like, you can keep trying."

"I was using it as a _joke_ ," muttered Will. "Fine. _Puella_ \- the girl. _Puella, puella, puellam, puellae, puellae, puella_. Plurals : _puellae, puellae, puellas, puellarum, puellis, puellis_."

"Excellent."

" _Please_ can we go swimming?" Will wheedled. "Look at all those people having fun!"

"Don't care. Now for something a little harder."

"Really - _ow_!" Will flushed. "I didn't say anything!"

"I know you did. Now, say what I just said in Latin."

"'I know you did'?"

"Uh-huh."

"So … is that present tense and imperfect tense?"

" _Did_?"

"Oh. Completed action. Perfect."

" _Ergo_ …?"

"Uh… _Cognosco_?"

"I know, yes. _Scio_ would work, too."

"Then. Um. _Facere_. It's irregular. Third declension." Will screwed up his eyes, desperately trying to remember the charts Nico had made him study. " _Fac -_ " Will caught Nico's slight shake of the head. " _Fec-_ er - _fecisiti_?" He smiled. " _Cognosco fecisti_."

Nico wrinkled his nose. "I guess. It's intelligible, at least."

Will scowled. "I didn't know I was being marked on style."

"It's Latin. Style is everything, because the language is not very conversational."

"What would you have said, Cicero?"

"Hmm. You could say lots of things, I guess. _Scio te fecisse_."

"And why is that better than what I said?"

Nico shrugged.

Will scowled. "That's not an answer!"

"Who's the teacher?"

Will sighed. "You are."

"Good boy."

Will narrowed his eyes at Nico. "How do you decline 'die'?"

"You can't. It's inexorable," said Nico, a glint in his eye.

Will shook his head. "And _you_ are the one making puns now?"

"Well, you can't, anyway. 'Die' is a verb: you conjugate verbs."

"Decline and conjugate mean the same thing."

"Technically, yes…" Nico bit his lip. "But for the purposes of learning grammar…" Nico trailed off into silence.

"You ignore what words actually mean?" prompted Will.

"Shut up. _Whatever_ you do to it, you can't inflect _morior_ like a normal verb - it's a deponent verb."

"A what-what verb?"

"Deponent. Passive in form, active in meaning."

"Like the middle voice in Greek?"

"Not quite." Nico bobbed his head. "But it's similar."

"Similarly weird." Will pressed his hands to his eyes. "This doesn't seem to be a very structured lesson."

"I don't seem to have a very committed pupil."

"Maybe if you were a bit nicer to me…"

Nico sniffed. "And what do you mean by 'nicer'?"

Will wrinkled his nose. "Well, maybe, instead of sitting half a mile off over there, you could, maybe, scoot over here?"

Nico reckoned that this was an attempt to get out of any more grammar tests. But that wrinkled up nose…

Will smothered a grin as Nico slid down next to him, his right hip rubbing against Nico's left.

"Better, Sunshine?" said Nico.

"Much. Now…" Will put his arm around Nico's shoulder's. "Relax." Slowly, he leaned backwards, taking Nico down with him until they were stretched out on the grass. "Now, isn't this a better way to have a lesson?"

Nico had to admit to himself that he thought it was. Not to Will, though. Oh, no. "I can't see it becoming standard pedagogic practice. Right. Vocab test. What does that cloud look like?"

"Um. _Canis_?"

"And the genitive?"

"Why?"

"So you know the stem. The nominative singular can often be a bit odd."

"Oh. Right. Well, uh, _canis_. Again."

"Well done. And _that_ cloud?"

"Hmm. _Draco_ -" Will corrected himself before Nico had the chance. "- _Draco, draconis._ "

"And that one?"

"What _is_ that supposed to be?"

"A boat?"

Will looked sidelong at Nico. "You reckon? OK. _Navis._ Genitive, _navis_. You're seeing a lot of third declension things in the clouds today."

"Mmm. How about that?"

" _Porcus_ , _porci._ "

"Yeah, I'll give you that. It is quite pig-like."

"Hey, look at that one."

" _Vespertilio, vespertilionis?_ "

"A bat? No need to be morbid, Death Boy. I was thinking more _angelus, angeli._ "

"Sap."

Will sighed happily. "Yeah. Wise. That's me."

Nico lifted himself up, frowning. "No -"

" _Sapiens_. It's my Latin name."

Nico sighed and lay back down. "Of the whole _species_! -"

"Fifth declension."

"Teacher's pet now, too, eh?"

"Only for you."

"Sap."

Will rolled over onto his side, so he could face Nico. "Can I have a go at making it worse?"

Nico mirrored his boyfriend. They were now nose-to-nose. "Well, this lesson's just about collapsed anyway."

"OK, then, Nico, I've got one for you: _Amo._ " Will beamed proudly.

" _Amo_ what? Or just in general?"

"Huh?" Will frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know why you did, because you were fine earlier, but I think you missed out a pronoun there, Will."

Will looked a little hurt. "I was trying to be nice -"

Nico interrupted him. "I know you were. That's why - _etiam amo te._ "

Will blinked. He racked his brains. " _Semper amabo te_."

Nico chuckled. "Yeah. However long that is. As long as you don't try singing that."

"Can we go swimming now?"

"Only if you ask me in Latin."

"What? _Subjunctive_?"

"If you like."

"Hmm. _Natemus_?"

"Nice. Pithy. But not quite what the subjunctive is for - you've really said 'Let us swim' rather than ' _Can_ we swim'…" Nico kissed Will on the nose. "But I'll let you off."

"Oh. Good. Why?"

"I'm unpredictable. I'm in love with you." Nico closed his eyes and smirked. "Plus, I'm setting you homework."

" _Nico_ …"

"It's for your own good. Isn't that what teachers say about it?"

"You've not been to a proper school in years," pointed out Will.

"If at all," agreed Nico. "But I've seen TV shows with schools in. That's totally the same."

"What do you want me to do?" sighed Will.

"I'll pick out a bit of the _Aeneid_ to translate." Nico nudged Will. "It'll be fun!"

"Yeah, right," muttered Will. He shook his head, and then jumped to his feet. "Fancy scandalising some of the younger campers?"

Nico opened one eye. "And that coming from a _head_ _counsellor_ …"

"Retired. Unlike you."

Nico stuck his tongue out. "I've not got much choice."

"And you have none in this. Come on."

Before Nico could even say a word (which would have been _venio_ ), Will had swung him to his feet and was dragging him down towards the lake. And it turned out to be quite a while before Nico got round to setting Will his homework.

* * *

 **P.S. The pun Augustine used was essentially the one Nico made about death.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	2. Epic Poetry at Bedtime

**So this just kind-of happened. It was a bit of fun.**

* * *

 **Epic Poetry at Bedtime**

* * *

"Why did he do it, Nico?" said Will, his voice mournful.

Nico rubbed his eyes and rolled over in the bed. He stared blearily at Will, or where the shape of Will was, anyway. "Why did _who_ do _what_?" He grimaced. It was really dark. What time was it? Was something wrong - to do with the war - or was Will having a nightmare - or -

"Why did Aeneas kill Turnus?"

"Gods, Will…" he groaned. "I thought it was something important. Can it not wait until tomorrow? Or, like, the end of time?"

"But it _is_ important, Nico! I mean, if this is the foundation-stone for Roman culture, then it should be understandable, right? If we're going to live with them."

"If this is going to be a habit of yours, then 'we' aren't living anywhere…" muttered Nico.

Will kissed Nico on the shoulder. "You don't mean that."

"No. But imagine that I did, shut up in shock, and go to sleep. Or at least let _me_ sleep."

"But I can't sleep. I'm not _tired_."

"Well, Will, we're all different. I, for example, can, and will, go to sleep. Now. Good night."

"Fine. But you're boring."

There was silence in the darkness for a little while.

"And how old are you, anyway? _Seven?_ "

"Not asleep, then, Nico?" said Will.

Nico could imagine the smug little smile on Will's face. In fact - he reached up, and there it was, curved upwards underneath his fingertips. "You're keeping me awake," he grumbled. "You and your thinking."

"How does that keep you awake?"

"I can hear your brain working. It squeaks like a rusty hinge. It's very distracting for someone trying to get to sleep."

"Sorry. I can't help it if you're overly sensitive. Besides, I thought you wanted me to do my homework?"

"But _not now_!" moaned Nico, burying his head in the pillow.

"Well, I am. And I can talk, and talk, and talk, and talk, and -"

Nico fastened his mouth to Will's.

"- and talk, and talk -"

Nico tried again.

"- and talk, and talk, and -"

"For the love of the gods, Will, shut _up_!"

"- and talk - _ow!_ Nico!"

"You're lucky it wasn't a more permanent injury."

"How would you know? I'm the doctor here!"

"Who's been the most often _injured_? Besides, stick around with you long enough and I'm bound to pick a few things up."

"Mmm. Whatever. So, about Aeneas -"

"Carry this on and this is the last time we're sleeping together."

Will tutted. "That's as much a punishment on you as me. Think your threats through next time, dear."

"Oh, I never said that we'd stop having sex. Just that we wouldn't be sleeping together, in the same place. You'd have to slink back to your cabin. If I'm feeling generous, I might shadow-travel you there. If I'm _really_ generous, I might let you have your clothes. Imagine the little kids seeing -"

"Nico!"

"Or I could dump you somewhere totally at random."

"Not like you've done that before…" muttered Will.

"What was that?" said Nico.

"Remember the first time? When you got a bit … overexcited, and -"

"I remember!" blurted out Nico. In this position, foreheads almost touching, Will could feel the heat of embarrassment radiating off him. In fact, if he opened his eyes he'd probably be able to _see_ Nico glowing in the dark.

"Where was it we ended up?"

Nico mumbled something.

"What was that?" wheedled Will.

"I think it was Scotland," said Nico sourly, shifting onto his back. Will put his head into the crook of his shoulder.

"I remember." Will frowned. "It was bloody freezing." He sighed. "Out in the middle of nowhere, as bare as the -"

"There's no need to remind me any further. I - I lost concentration."

"Imagine if there had been people! We'd have been so embarrassed."

"We'd have been _arrested_."

Will laughed. "I guess we might have been. Well, at least you never did it again."

Nico was silent.

"Nico?" said Will, propping himself up on an elbow. "Am I to infer from that silence that you 'lost concentration' at other times as well?"

Nico could imagine Will's little smirk again. He covered his face with his hands. "Maybe a few times! It's hard to keep it in check!"

"When?"

"Oh, every now and again. I've managed to control the location, though. We only go between here and my bed in the Underworld. And, up to now, you've never noticed, so I think we can call it a success."

Will snorted, and then dissolved into full-scale laughter. After a few moments, Nico couldn't help himself from joining in.

"Shh! _Shh!_ " said Will, hurriedly, as soon as he'd recovered himself.

"You started it!" hissed Nico.

"Doesn't matter. If anyone catches us here -"

"They'll hardly be surprised. It's not like anyone doesn't know. If Chiron had wanted to catch us, he's had quite a while to do so."

"It would be embarrassing, though."

"Well, you are."

"And you said _I_ was being childish, Nico…"

"I'm sleeping now."

Will waited a few moments. "Right, so, Aeneas and Turnus. Why?"

"I could ask the same question…" groaned Nico.

"And I already answered it," said Will. "To me, it doesn't make sense. All the way through, Aeneas had been restrained, honourable, and pretty dispassionate. Yet right at the end, he flips out and kills an opponent that he'd already defeated and disarmed. He even thinks to himself what the right thing to do would be, and then kills Turnus anyway."

"You're not giving up on this, are you?"

"All the time you've spent trying to shut me up could have been used answering my question, and you could have been asleep by now."

"Fine." Nico leant his head against Will's chest. "Turnus has to die. It's fate."

"But why?"

"Aeneas has to marry Lavinia. He must have the legitimacy of the Latins. Turnus was already promised to her; he couldn't live, otherwise the whole Roman line would be subject to doubt."

"But why kill him, though? He'd defeated Turnus, he'd won Lavinia from him. Why was it necessary to kill him?"

"Turnus was inferior to Aeneas. Angry. Greedy. That's what provoked Aeneas - that he had Pallas' belt, taken from his corpse. It was only on seeing that that Aeneas decided to kill him."

"But does greed justify that? Does anger? I mean, Aeneas got angry at that moment - does that make him worthy of death? And why does Turnus' inferiority mean that he has to die?"

"Because - because - I can't believe I'm co-operating - because Turnus is the anti-Aeneas, motivated by desire, not duty. Like Dido. They both have to die for Aeneas to succeed. And Aeneas must succeed."

"But doesn't he, in succeeding, succumb to desire rather than duty? His desire for revenge overpowers his pious restraint, and reverence to the gods and his father - his _pietas_."

Nico sighed. "I thought you asking me questions. This feels like you're arguing a case…"

"I want a thorough understanding."

"Of course you do…" muttered Nico. "Well, yes. He does. But, in a sense, he also has a duty to his dead friend Pallas. And to Euryales and Nisus, to whom Turnus gave dishonourable treatment by parading their heads around."

"I'm not denying that Turnus did bad stuff, but isn't Aeneas meant to be better than that?"

"I don't know! He's flawed - sometimes he forgets his _pietas_. Like with Dido. It's his defining characteristic, which makes it all the more noticeable when he loses it from time to time."

"So you're saying that the death of Turnus was a mistake?"

"No!" Nico shifted over, frowning. "Well, perhaps it was a transgression against duty. According to Aeneas' morality, he shouldn't have done it - but he still had to do it. There was more at work than just Aeneas' personal actions. Remember, Turnus and Aeneas are caught between the opposing wills of Jupiter and Juno. Never, as we know, a good place to be."

"True." Will hummed to himself. "There are times, then, when you are not responsible for your actions? When normal ethics are suspended?"

"I would say so. In extreme situations. For specific reasons." Nico shivered. "That's how I see things anyway."

"Do you still -"

"Octavian?" Nico's voice was very steady. "Yeah."

"Poor kid."

"Yeah."

"It wasn't your fault, you know."

"I do. It wasn't yours either. Haven't I just explained why?"

"But are you always convinced by your own explanation?" Will waited. "Nico?"

"Not always, no," came the eventual reply.

"Nor am I."

"Is that really why you're worried about Aeneas' behaviour, Will?"

"Kind-of."

"Try to remember that it's a poem, Will. It doesn't necessarily tell you how you should live. And its characters aren't perfect models either."

"Is that meant to be reassuring?"

"Maybe not. It's true, though. But the truth has no obligation to be reassuring."

"Have you been reading Epictetus?"

"The Stoic philosopher? Maybe."

Will laughed. "I always thought that it would be a good fit for you."

"Are you calling me a Stoic?"

"I wouldn't say that that's necessarily a bad thing…" ventured Will.

"You know, there's a very particular reason why I might be a Stoic."

"Why?"

"It's all about how everything that happens to you is irrelevant; only your reaction to events matters. The only thing that you have absolute control of is the will."

Will leaned in very close to Nico, pressing most of his body up against Nico's. "Is that what you think you have, eh?"

"What did I say?" said Nico, innocence dripping off his voice.

"That was one of your funny jokes. 'Absolute control of the will'. Huh. _You_ control _me_?" Will snorted. "In your dreams."

Nico couldn't help himself. "Do you really want to know about my dreams?" he said, attempting to make his voice deep and seductive.

"Puberty kind-of passed your voice box by, didn't it, Nico?" laughed Will. "Besides, I've managed to keep you from sleeping for ages. You've not managed to assert your control over me that well, have you?"

"Shut up."

"No."

"Obey!"

"Never."

"I wonder what the weather's like in Scotland?"

"Don't care."

"You're _so_ annoying!"

"Well spotted." Will kissed Nico on the forehead. "I'm here primarily to frustrate you."

"Well," grumbled Nico, "you're pretty good at _that_."

"Years of practice at being super-annoying. And an excellent teacher in stubbornness."

"Is that a thinly-veiled reference to me?"

"Could be."

"I _really_ want to sleep now."

"Be my guest."

Nico closed his eyes. His breathing slowed as a busy day took its debt in tiredness. He felt himself drift -

Then Will licked his nose. The sudden shock of wetness catapulted Nico into an alert stage, his eyes open, his heartrate rising. "Will! What did you do that for?"

Will giggled. "No real reason."

Nico glared at where he reckoned Will was. "Next time you try that I'll bite your tongue off." He rolled over. "And don't giggle like that. It makes it very hard for me to get annoyed with you."

"Like Aeneas was with Turnus?"

"Will! Shut it."

"I'm still not quite sure -"

Nico wrenched a pillow out from under their heads and pressed it against his ears.

"You know I can just talk louder."

Nico said nothing, tightening his grip on his pillow.

Will laughed. "You love it -"

* * *

It was suddenly quite light, and rather cold. Very cold, in fact. Will leapt up. He was in a hollow on the side of a mountain, and there was snow. And he was…

Well, he wasn't dressed for snow, that was for sure. And it was _bloody freezing_. In August! He hopped over the snow, praying to all the gods he knew that there was no-one around. The snow was only in the shadow of the peak, so once he was off it -

It was still cold. Damp grass and slippery rocks weren't that much better on the feet than the snow. And the air was _biting_.

He supposed that he was in Scotland. It looked like Scotland. Well, how he thought Scotland looked. It looked similar to how it had looked the last time. How long did it take for frostbite to set in? Was it cold enough for that?

The shadow covering the snow wobbled a little, and Will started forwards, hoping that it was Nico. It wasn't. Instead, a pair of yellow boxers came flying out. Will recognised them as his own. Well, it wasn't like they were going to be Nico's. Which wouldn't have fitted anyway. He knew; he'd tried. A particularly urgent, unexpected - and subsequently uncomfortable - counsellors' meeting.

There was a note attached, in a familiar almost-illegible scrawl, which he read as he, for want of a better word, dressed. ' _Wouldn't want you to lose anything important. N._ '

No. Of course he wouldn't.

Will sat on a rock and pondered the mountain that he was sitting on. He'd really pushed Nico too far. But he would come and pick him up at some point, right? In the morning, probably. Which for Nico, still meant about midday. Which, here, would probably mean about six o'clock. And it wasn't even dark yet.

He shoved his hands into his armpits. Bugger. Should he try and go down the mountain? There was a lake down there, and a town. But, then again, Nico wouldn't know where to find him, and what good would being in the town do? He supposed he could get arrested. It might be warmer in the cells. And they might give him clothes. Or not. And it would be so embarrassing. Or should he go up? There looked like there was a hut near the top. But getting there would be tricky, and likely to get colder still.

Or maybe Nico would relent? Pick him up early? Any minute now?

Will stared at the unmoving shadows. Oh dear.

He turned away, wondering if the branches of pine trees made good, if prickly, substitutes for clothes.

"Are you sorry yet?"

Will turned back. There was Nico, in his fluffy slippers, with the duvet wrapped around him. He didn't, if Will was honest, look very threatening, but, well, appearances weren't everything.

"Um. Y-yeah." Will tried not to let his teeth chatter, b-but could-dn't help it-t-t.

"Really?"

"Yes!" Will hopped up and down on the spot. "Yes!"

"And you're not going to do it again?"

"No!"

"Is that an honest answer?" said Nico, smiling slightly.

"No…" Will bit his lip. "But I'll try…?" he offered, hopeful.

Nico poked a hand out from beneath the folds of the duvet. Will took it. For once, it was Nico that flinched from the cold. "Come on. We'll go through the rest of your homework in the morning."

"And before then?" said Will, aware that he was probably pushing his luck a bit too soon.

"You'll keep very, very quiet."

* * *

 **There might be more of this, there might not. If anything, it'll be a very occasional series of a (slightly) older Will and Nico, probably with an interest in language or literature.**

 **Thanks for reading! Reviews welcomed.**


	3. Satires in Sickness

**Satires in Sickness**

* * *

"Nico…?"

Why was his head on the _floor_? And why did it _hurt_ so much? And why was everything so _bright_? And why were so _many_ of his thoughts bursting out across his brain in painful _italics_?

There was a sound somewhere above him. Will took that as an indication of semi-wakefulness. Why did it smell really weird in here? Why was his mouth so fuzzy feeling? Why, again, did his head hurt? He squeezed his eyes shut. Darkness. He'd never have thought it, but it was a bit of a relief. Oh, gods…

"Nico…?"

Another inarticulate groan.

Will listened to his pulse throbbing in his temples. He pressed his hands to his eyes, hoping for extra darkness. "Never let me let myself get drunk again, will you?"

More groaning. Then Will's legs were shoved off the mattress. His heels hit the floor with a painful _thump_. Great. Now both ends hurt. "Cheers, Nico…" His legs were cold. Well, the rest of him was already cold, but they'd been tangled up in the sheet, and so this had come as a bit of a shock. Had he been like that all night? Well, all of the night he'd been asleep. Of the amount of the night that he'd been aware of. Now he realised that his back hurt. Even more great.

"Nico?" He ventured again. "Do you feel as bad as me?" He opened his eyes. The light! Argh! "Nico?"

He closed his eyes again. He massaged his back with one hand, rubbing circles into the flesh. He had no idea if this would actually help, but at least it was something -

His elbow hit something under the bed, which clinked into something else. He grimaced. Clinks were bad. Clinks implied multiple bottles. Clinks implied a _lot_ of drinking. Clinks also seemed really _loud._ He opened his eyes again, reluctantly, and peered past the hanging sheets.

Yep. Different shapes, different sizes, different colours. There was a fair bit of variety going on under there. So, at least the firework display going off in his head was not the product of dull repetition, but rather considerable adventurousness. Still really hurt, though. What reason had there been for all that, again?

He couldn't for the life of him remember.

"Nico? Talk to me. Let me know there's someone else suffering like this…"

He'd heard of people - ha, he'd even lectured some of the older kids on the subject - choking to death on their own vomit due to heavy drinking. Nico was OK, though, right? He'd made some noises of being alive…

Suddenly concerned, Will raised his voice. "Nico!"

To his relief, there was movement. The covers humped up, rolled around a bit, before opening around a face with dark and angry eyes. "What?" grumbled Nico.

"Are you OK?" asked Will.

"Well, I had a bit of a rude awakening."

"But apart from that?"

"I'm fine. Honest."

"And your head?" prompted Will

"Same as usual. Perfect working order."

"It doesn't really, really, _really_ hurt?"

"Nope." Nico raised his voice a bit. "Do you mean yours does?"

Will winced, which then turned into a scowl. "You're telling me that you're totally fine?"

"Yup. Though it seems to have trouble getting through to you." Nico leaned over the edge of the bed, smiling innocently. "Aren't you?"

"Uurrgh! So unfair!" Will put his hands to his head. "Well, if you must know, my head feels like the whole of the Hephaestus cabin are in there, smelting away; my heels hurt from when you pushed them off the bed; my back is sore from the position I was in all night; my throat is like sandpaper -" Will winced and put a hand to his stomach. "- and I reckon I've got a tummy ache."

"Poor baby. Well, now you know the perils of drink."

"But - but, hang on, I remember - of the bits that I _do_ remember, I remember this bit pretty strongly - you were really quite drunk last night. You drank a _lot_ , and it showed."

Nico shrugged. "That was then. This is now. I get all the advantages from loosened inhibitions, and none of the downsides of the morning after."

"Well isn't that peachy?" muttered Will.

"I rather think so." Nico smirked.

"So, uh, remind me - _why_ did we get drunk last night?"

"You passed your Latin exam."

"Was it that big a deal…?" said Will, confused.

"It was the last part of your admission tests for New Rome. We can go whenever we like. _Nunc est bibendum_ , you said."

"I did? Why did I say something like that?" Will screwed up his face. "What does it even mean?"

"You were feeling very pleased with yourself about your Latin knowledge. Apparently for no good reason."

"Oh, er, now I think - uh - 'Now is the time to drink?'"

"Horace. Correct."

"Cheers." Will grimaced. "Not 'cheers', actually… And I take it you agreed with me?"

"The symbol of our leaving Camp Half-Blood? It seemed an appropriate time to celebrate."

"Which is why we _hesterno fetere mero_?"

"Martial. Very good for someone who looks as rough as you. But, as the end of that epigram kind-of runs, I'm not sure half-past three in the morning quite counts as _yesterday_ , do you?"

Will grunted. "There was a period of sleep between then and now. That counts." He groaned. "What time is it, anyway?"

Nico took his watch from the bedside table. He bit his lip. "You're not going to like it."

Will closed his eyes again. "Tell me…"

"Half-past twelve."

"What!" said Will, jerking his head up, and immediately regretting it, and gingerly lowering his head to the floor again.

"Welcome to normality, Will."

"You are _not_ an example of normality."

"Am too!"

"There. That, for example. People don't say that outside of books."

"Do too!"

Will groaned. So Nico was in _that_ kind of a mood. Great. "Do you know why I'm on the floor?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to tell me?"

" _Pace_ , Will, I will." Nico smirked down at him. "But only if you're sure you want me to."

Will put his hands over his face. They were getting quite used to the position. "Is it embarrassing?"

Nico's eyes glinted. "Yes."

"So Chiron came in?"

"Yes."

"And we were - were we? - You know -"

"Well, not exactly. We'd finished."

"Oh. So he didn't suspect?"

"No, no, he did - partly I suppose, because, when he came in, you launched yourself away from me. Which is how you ended up mostly on the floor, not really covered by anything."

"Oh, right." Will felt his cheeks heat up. "Was I really, really embarrassed?"

"No."

"I wasn't?"

"No. You were, as we've noted, pretty drunk."

"Ah. Was Chiron _very_ angry?"

"Yes." Nico pulled a face. "Going on, and on, about how we should be responsible - that we were the oldest campers here, and that people looked up to us - especially to _you_. He was particularly disappointed in that he's allowed us to bend the rules a little, but that we took advantage of it. Abused the trust he placed in us. Yeah, he was really mad."

"And we were meek, contrite, and greatly distressed by this, promising reformation and recompense, that we were so sorry, we weren't in our right minds - and did we mention that we were sorry? That's what happened next, wasn't it, and suitably mollified, he went away?"

"No." Nico glared down at Will. "You said - well, slurred - 'Wha' ya gonna do 'bou' it?'"

"Did I?" groaned Will.

"Yep. In that exact phrasing. I think you must have hit your head on the floor as well as being plastered. Then -"

"There was a 'then'?" asked Will weakly.

"Oh, yes." Nico snorted. " _Oh_ yes…"

" _What_?" pleaded Will, regretting how loud it sounded.

"Well, then you giggled - yes, Will, _giggled_ \- and did this sort-of dance."

"A - a dance?" said Will, his mouth going even more dry, were that possible.

"Yeah."

"What kind of dance?" Will groaned. "It wasn't, like, Dad-dancing, was it?"

"No. It was - well, you kind of moved your hips from side to side, and then from back to front."

All colour drained from Will's face. "I - I did?"

"Uh-huh." Nico raised his eyebrows. "And, of course, you did all this while being as naked - well, just as naked as you are now."

It was strange to watch, how Will went completely floppy. It was like everything that kept him sustained and alive had just been drained out of him. Even his eyes dimmed.

"Will?" said Nico, slightly worried.

Now it was Will's turn to grunt inarticulately.

"Are you OK?"

"No…" Will's face crumpled. "Oh, gods…"

"I wonder when Chiron will come back."

"He's coming back?"

"Of course. After you little outburst, it was clear that you were in no position to be punished. To be fair, neither was I. So he said he'd come back when we'd sobered up."

Will groaned. Then he frowned at Nico. "But, why are _you_ so chirpy? Surely you're in just as much trouble as me? You were, after all, one half of the problem."

"I wouldn't say _half_."

"OK, some it was just me. But, you know - he's surely angry with you, too?"

"Of course." Nico smiled. "Or, rather, he _would_ be, if any of that had happened."

Will blinked. "What?"

"It didn't happen. That was all kind-of a lie."

"So none of that was true? None of it?"

Nico laughed, tears in his eyes. "No! Well, except for the drinking…" He snorted. "You should have seen yourself! I thought you were going to lose all control of your body - that you were just going to turn into a vegetable, right there on my floor."

"Fuck the shut up, Nico."

"That's not really a phrase, dear."

"Do I look like I care, _dear?_ "

"No, dear, you look hungover."

"Don't remind me!"

"Well, how about we take your mind off of it with a little test?"

"How about we don't?"

" _Dulce periculum est, o Lenaee, sequi deum_ "

Will was silent. Nico was patient. He knew Will's perfectionism would force him to answer.

"Horace," muttered Will. "And I can tell you, it is _not_ 'sweet' to follow the wine-press god!"

"Bet you wouldn't say that to his face…" teased Nico.

"No. I'll tell him _you_ said it."

"Next! _Omnis ab infuso numeretur amica Falerno_."

Will wondered how hard he would have to smash his head into the leg of the bed in order to knock himself unconscious. But if it failed, it would _really hurt_ … "Martial. Something about drinking the number of our friends from Falerno?"

"Falerno is a place where the Romans got their good wine from."

"Oh. Context. Huh. But the numbers thing?"

"It's about drinking a cup of wine for each the number of letters in your friends' names."

"Oh. So, four."

"For you, and seven for me." Nico reached under the bed for a bottle with something left in it. "Do you want some -?"

"No!"

"OK. On we go! _Tunc cantabunt letius angelorum chori:_ _sit deus propitius huic potatori_?"

"Nico - Nico - I genuinely have no idea." Will let out a little wail. " _Please_ can we stop now?"

"Well, that was a trick one. Not classical."

"You mean you made it up?"

"No - some guy did in the twelfth century. The Archpoet."

"Ah - I thought something was off. Not many Roman angels."

"Even fewer asking God to give mercy to a drunk."

"Mmm… Please, Nico…"

Nico laughed. "Right, well, you can continue feeling sorry for yourself, but I'm going for a shower." He got out of bed, and stood by Will's head. He started to grin, before turning very pale.

Will frowned from the floor. "What's up?"

"I think I'm going to be - sick -"

Cruel (and self-inflictedly painful) though it was, Will couldn't help but laugh loudly as Nico rushed for the bathroom, his hand over his mouth.

Then there was a knock at the door.

"Nico? Will?" called out Chiron's voice. "I want you both out here. _Now_."

* * *

 **As usual, poor Will... Perhaps _that_ should be the title of this fic.**


	4. Homer in Health

**Homer in Health**

* * *

"You know, I don't remember saying how much I like our flat."

Will looked across at Nico and smiled. "What prompts you to say it now?"

Nico shrugged. "I don't know. But, just sitting here, and knowing that this is our own little space - it's nice. We can make it our own. Make it representative of our life. Build on the things we've got, with space for things we don't know about yet."

"I think what you're saying is that you like the idea of us having a flat."

Nico bobbed his head. "I guess I am. But I also like _this_ flat. It's got a nice view. Sitting on the sofa, we can watch the sun set over the houses. That's nice. It's got little alcoves that make interesting shadows when the light hits it. It's simple - kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom - but not cramped. I like the colour of the paint on the walls - even if it's yellow. I like how it goes with the floor tiles. And the curtains. And -"

Will laughed. "Careful, Nico. You're showing off your gay-osity a bit too much."

Nico flapped a hand at his boyfriend in an exaggeratedly camp manner. "So what, darling? I'm in my own home!"

" _Our_ own home."

"So you get to be camp, too." Nico winked. "You can dye your hair."

Will wrinkled his nose. "I'm blonde, though. I'm always dubious about blonde people dying their hair. It's OK for a while, but then colouring makes their hair look kind-of dirty. In my opinion." He nudged Nico. "I think you'd look good with it, though."

"You think?" Nico pushed his fringe down to his eyes. "What colour?"

Will considered. "Light blue."

"No."

"Just at the front? It would be set off really nicely by the rest of your hair."

Nico looked thoughtful. "That might be OK. I'll think about it." He settled into Will's arms, and they cuddled happily for a while.

Then Will's stomach rumbled, making Nico vibrate. Will blushed. "That's definitely something I'm going to miss about Camp."

"What?"

"Getting food just appear on a plate. We have to actually _cook_!"

"It's all part of growing up, Will."

"You're only saying that because _I'm_ the one who'll be doing the cooking."

"That's slander!"

"Fine, then," said Will, folding his arms behind his head. "Prove me wrong."

"I will!" Nico pushed himself up and padded in his socks (black with pink skulls on them) through to the kitchen. "What do you want?"

With Nico no longer able to see him, Will punched the air. Victory to Solace! Nico was so easy to manipulate…

* * *

Another evening, and the pair of them were in the same position. This sofa, Will thought, had been a good idea of Nico's. Even if it was jet-black and was impossible to get fully clean.

"So," said Nico, mostly to Will's chest, "college starts tomorrow."

"Yeah." Will grinned. "Are you as excited as I am?"

Nico laughed. "Even if I were an excitable person, Will, I'm not sure that that would be possible."

"Well, just you being less of a grump is enough for me."

"I am never –"

Will coughed meaningfully.

"– well, hardly ever, 'a grump'! Huh." Nico blew a raspberry on Will's arm. "See?"

Will snorted. "Sometimes…" He hugged Nico a little tighter, and then looked thoughtful. "We'd better not let on that we have our own flat."

"Mmm." Nico tipped his head from side to side. "Not until we find some people we really like."

"Do you think people would find it weird?"

"That we live together as a couple?" asked Nico, unsure.

"Yeah."

Nico frowned. "Why? Why wouldn't we?"

"Well, it's a bit … full on, you know? A bit more 'serious' than a college relationship."

"We _are_ serious." Nico puffed some of his hair into Will's eyes. "Most of the time."

"That's not what I mean." Will bit his lip, trying to work out how to properly express himself. "It makes us seem … I don't know … _old…_?"

Nico laughed. "Is that why? It makes you feel –" he poked Will in the stomach "– middle-aged?"

"No!" Will leapt up indignantly from the sofa, did a few star-jumps, and then started doing some enthusiastic press-ups. Well, he did two press-ups, then his arms gave out, and he flopped into the floor, not in dignity.

Nico peered down at his boyfriend, who was clearly breathing heavily. "Do you mean 'yes'?"

"Shut up."

* * *

"That girl was flirting with you."

"Was she?"

"Don't play the innocent with me. All she had to do was give you your welcome pack, which probably didn't require her to keep touching your arm. And giggle. You're not even that funny."

"Am I not?"

"No, Nico, trust me – you _aren't_."

Nico rolled his eyes. "No need to get all huffy, Will. It's not like I was going to fancy her back now, is it?"

Will frowned. "But you shouldn't lead people on like that."

"And you don't?"

Will blanched. "What do you mean by that?"

"When we were in the queue, you could have gone to her. But you went to the good-looking guy with the blonde hair and glasses. And you had a nice long chat, didn't you?"

"He's my half-brother!"

Nico shrugged. "Who knows what you Americans get up to?" He shivered. "Incestuous savages."

"Remind me," said Will, raising an eyebrow, "just how related are your grandparents? On your _father's_ side."

Nico smirked. "Are you trying to justify –"

"No! Oh, gods, _no!_ " Will wrinkled his nose.

"So you weren't flirting with him."

Will sniffed. "Certainly not."

"And if he wasn't related to you, you would?"

"Still _no_ , Nico!"

"Good."

"Thank you."

"I would, though."

Will narrowed his eyes. Nico maintained an expression of absolute sincerity. "Only because he looks like me."

Nico opened his mouth, but couldn't think of a response. Will pressed it closed again with a finger.

"Point to Solace, I think. Another one."

Nico let out a small huff.

"You're cute when you do that."

"I _so_ hate you."

Will leaned forwards and kissed him. "I know you do. And now all the other people here know that we're a thing, so –"

"OK, OK, I get it! No flirting. No acquiescing to other people flirting at me. No physical contact with people who aren't you."

"Oh, no, that's all fine. Flirt away. But let me join in, OK?"

Nico raised his eyebrows, unsure as to whether his boyfriend was joking or not. Or whether any of their conversation had been serious at all. It didn't help that Will was (as usual) beaming at him the whole time. It made it really hard to tell when he was being sarcastic. "Oh, and, also, please can you not kiss me in public again for quite some time? Some of us have to build up a fearsome reputation."

"I'm not sure that I'll be able to do that. You're just _too_ adorable!" Will kissed Nico again, three times: once on each cheek, and once on his nose.

Nico flushed, and tried to supress a smile. "I hate you."

* * *

"How were classes?" asked Nico, stretched out on the sofa, a book resting on his chest.

"Tiring. Who knew just sitting and listening to some drone on and on took so much energy?"

Nico raised an eyebrow. "Well, _I_ did, for a start."

Will stepped over to the nearest chair and threw a cushion at his boyfriend. Nico squealed obligingly. "And how was your day?"

"Again, quite tiring. Fun, though. Went round the library - there are so many things I want to look out, Will - there's just so much stuff available! I mean, it's not just history - there's archaeology, and numismatics, and literature – and –" Nico broke off, beaming.

"So, history was the right choice?" said Will, smiling.

"Oh, absolutely!"

"Many will be the men whose cities you see and whose minds you'll learn."

"Why are you paraphrasing the _Odyssey_?"

"I'm the son of a Greek god. I don't need a reason."

* * *

"Honey, I'm home!"

Will poked his head out from the bedroom. "The man of many devices returns. Oh, and, do people _actually_ say that?"

He watched Nico's shoulders move up and down inside his shirt in a shrug, then started along the corridor towards where Nico was putting something down on the kitchen table. Playfully, he spun Nico around, and –

There were a few long moments of surprised silence.

Eventually, Nico cracked a smile, and waved sarcastically. "Hi. I'm Nico. I live here."

"Your hair…" murmured Will.

"It's what you recommended," said Nico, patting it. " _Sky_ -blue."

"I - I didn't think you'd actually go through with it!"

Nico laughed. About the front third of his hair was light blue, starkly accented against the black of the rest. "Do you like it?"

Will nodded. Then he grinned. "Another thing to add to the proofs of me always being right."

Nico rolled his eyes. "I also got us dinner."

Will's eyes travelled to the table. He scowled. "McDonalds?"

Nico rummaged around inside a paper bag and brought out a burger. He unwrapped it and waved it in front of Will's nose. "You know you want some…"

Will pulled a face. "I do." He opened the other bag. "But I'm blaming this on you. Nothing to do with my own lack of willpower."

Nico smiled, already chewing on his burger. "If you shay sho…"

* * *

"Nico Di Angelo!"

Nico's eyes went wide. He stared at Will, who didn't look very happy. " _Me_?"

"Yes, _you_!" Will crossed his arms and scowled.

Nico stared at him for a while, and then held up his hands apologetically. "I literally have no idea what I've done. Are you going to tell me, or just glare…?"

"I leave the house to go to my classes at 8. You leave for your classes at 9:30. You spend most of that extra time in bed, yes?"

Nico nodded. "And…?"

"I'm not bothered that you have a lie-in –"

"Good, because I'm not stopping having them."

"– but I do object to coming home to find that you didn't bother making the bed when you eventually got up."

Nico bit his lip, guilty. "I was in a rush this morning! It's not like –"

"It happened yesterday, and the day before, and all last week."

"Well… Well…" Nico flushed. "What does it matter, anyway? If neither of us are here, who cares whether the bed's made or not? It's not like it stays made once we get in it."

"That's not the point. Aside from that I don't like the feeling of knowing that the bed isn't made, and that crumpled sheets get uncomfortable creases in them, I asked you to do it, and you didn't."

Nico bit his lip. Will's eyes were clear and steady. "I – I'm sorry, Will." Was this their first fight? Over _bedding_? And they'd only been living together for about a week.

"That's just words, Nico."

Gods, Will looked so disappointed in him. Nico felt really guilty. Even more so that he didn't really get why it was a big deal. Clearly this was important to Will, but he didn't understand -

A sudden sound dragged Nico out of his thoughts. Will was laughing. Why was Will laughing?

"If I may quote you, Nico," said Will, his eyes shining, " _you should have seen yourself!_ Priceless."

* * *

"And then, Jake said –"

"OK, OK - I've just about had enough of hearing about bloody Jake!" said Nico, exasperated. He glared at Will. "What is he your boyfriend, or something?" He rolled his eyes.

Will poked his tongue out. "Just because you haven't made any friends."

"I've made friends!"

"Yeah? Who?"

"Uh. Well, there's Jason, and Percy, and Reyna, and Fra –"

"Apart from people we already knew."

"Um." Nico hesitated.

Will checked his watch. "Take as long as you need…"

"There's a girl whom sits next to me in Greek literature classes."

"Is there. What's her name?"

"Nausicaa."

Will snorted. "If you're going to make up a name, Nico, don't pick one like that."

"What?"

"And I suppose she's seen you naked?"

"What are you – _oh!_ " Nico flushed and shook his head. "No – she's actually real, and that's actually her name. A Roman through-and-through, but her parents liked the name."

Will looked at Nico sceptically. "I'll believe you. For now."

"Maybe we can set her and Jake up on a date."

"Nico, dear, that would be weird."

* * *

Nico rolled over and threw back the covers, swinging his legs off the bed -

He let out a small yell as someone grabbed his waistband. He span around to see -

"Will?" He frowned. "Aren't you -?"

Will grinned, his eyes twinkling. "It's _Saturday_ , Death Boy…"

"Oh." Nico blinked. "No classes?"

"None." Will pulled at his waistband again. "Though I could use a little revision…"

Nico smirked. "Of what?"

"Oh, you know. _All_ the body parts."

* * *

"I think we've settled into this 'domestic' thing rather well, don't you?"

Will pulled Nico into a hug. "I couldn't agree more."

Nico tugged the blanket off the back of the sofa and over the pair of them.

"Cold?" asked Will, surprised.

Nico shrugged. "Not particularly. I just like the feel of it."

"Well, I am." Will shuffled down the sofa, burying his nose in Nico's hair as he'd done so many times before. "I wish you wouldn't leave the door to the balcony open."

"It's for the cat."

Will nodded absently. Then he frowned. "What cat?"

Nico snorted. "You are so gullible…"

"You know, Nico, I think the same about you."

Nico twisted around, his face formed into a pout. "I am not gullible!"

"You totally are. And you've been making the bed like a lamb."

"Hmph."

Will laughed and kissed Nico's forehead. "Do you want to get a cat?"

Nico looked at Will, curious. "Are you serious?"

"Are you?" asked Will.

Nico thought. "Are cats a lot of responsibility?"

"I don't know." Will shrugged. "I've never had a pet before." He grinned. "Well, except one, and I have to say that he was rather needy…"

Nico glared at Will. It didn't have the slightest effect. He chewed the inside of his cheek. "I'll think about it. I'm definitely open to the idea, if you are."

"Yeah. Just a cat, though. I think a dog would be too much to handle." Will pondered. "Or a rabbit. That might be quite nice."

"Mightn't they attack each other?" asked Nico.

"I said _or_ , Nico."

"Well, either would be fine with me."

"We shall, then, think about it."

"You know, now I really want a rabbit…"

Will intertwined his legs with Nico's. "Then we might think about getting one. You'd have to promise to do your share of looking after it though."

"Oh, I would!" Nico made big eyes at Will. "Can we get a black one?" He fluttered his eyelashes.

"Maybe."

Nico sighed happily. "I like this. I could live like this forever."

Will smiled. "That _is_ the offer currently on the table, you know." He bent his head to look straight at Nico. "But can you promise me one thing, though?"

Nico kissed the side of Will's neck. "What?"

"That you won't ask me to marry you."

Nico blinked, confused. "What do you mean - not that I was in any way intending right now to - is it me - or -"

Will cupped Nico's hands in his own. "That's exactly what I mean. People talk about marriage like it's the crowning moment of a relationship. The thing everything builds towards. But it's not. Because what happens afterwards? It's something which is constantly being built, all the way until we die."

Nico rolled over and stared at the ceiling. "Can't it be a step on the way?"

"I don't feel that it's a necessary one. Plus, heteronormativity."

"You've really got into that word, haven't you?"

"Yeah. Anything with eight syllables has to be good."

"Hmm." Nico rested his head on Will's shoulder. "Well, I'm not totally sure that I agree with you, or that I really understand why it matters to you, but I'm happy to let you try and convince me. Hera might have something to say about that."

"Well, white-armed Hera can say what she likes. We're not bound to obey her."

"Careful. She beat up Artemis, once."

"As Artemis has pointed out to us, _only_ once."

"Would Artemis be on our side?"

"She's more the strict celibacy type, isn't she?"

"Mmm. But at least we're not a threat to the girls, right?"

Will pouted. "Speak for yourself, Nico."

Nico snorted. "Uh – _no_. You more than me, actually."

"Then why am I friends with so many girls?"

His boyfriend sighed. "Because they like the way you do your nails."

Will blinked. "Is _that_ the reason?"

"Yes!" Nico rolled over. "And, to make it worse, it isn't _you_ that does them, anyway."

"Mmm. You'd think that the designs being in black would give the game away."

"Yeah. You're a bad influence on me."

" _Somebody_ had to be."

* * *

 **Just a series of fun vignettes that occurred to me as amusing ideas.**

 **Thanks for reading! Reviews always cherished.**


	5. Ethics

**Ethics**

* * *

Will stifled a yawn. He'd been up all night. Well, almost all. It might, in fact, have been better if he had been up all night, for the forty-five minutes or so between his head hitting the pillow and his alarm going off had likely done more harm than good. Now, instead of just feeling tired, he felt disorientated from waking up at an awkward moment in his sleep cycle.

Not to mention that he was outside, and hungry, and it was _early_. His hair messy and a hoodie wrapped around him against the cold morning, Will walked along the empty street towards the little grocery shop. On going to the fridge, and the cupboards, and hopefully poking around in the freezer, he'd found nothing particularly breakfast-worthy. So, his stomach rumbling, he'd had to go for food.

This wouldn't have happened if Nico had been here. Nico, to Will's surprise, had proved remarkably 'domestic'. He always knew when they needed fresh food, or when supplies were running low, or if there was enough in the cupboards for a decent meal. He planned ahead. He kept note. Will – well, Will tended to improvise a lot more. He was perfectly organised at college, just as he had been in the infirmary at Camp, but, in his own life, organisation just wasn't something he thought about. He couldn't keep all those things about their life in his head like Nico could.

Where _was_ Nico? In some remote location where they took all the new history students to dig up old coins, and talk about old books, and generally do historical things. Quite why there were so many coins of historical value in California, Will didn't know, nor why they couldn't do most of the rest in New Rome, but he especially didn't understand why it meant that Nico had to go away and leave him alone to do the shopping and generally look after himself for two weeks. Of course, Nico had offered to write him a list of all the things he needed to do, and where in the cupboards the loo roll was, and how the iron worked. Of course, Will had laughingly declined the offer, cheerfully declaring that everything would be fine.

It had been five days, and he still didn't know where the toilet paper was. And the roll was getting ever emptier. Like the fridge. So here he was, at half-six in the morning, hurrying to a 24 hour grocery shop for breakfast. Nico could never know about this. Oh, how he wanted Nico back…

As he walked, Will pondered their neighbourhood. It was fairly new; built in the wave of expansion prompted by contact with the Greeks. It was also, for that reason, fairly 'Greek' in its make-up (though, of course, pretty much no-one was _actually_ Greek), fairly youthful – mostly people who had (for want of a better word) 'graduated' from Camp Half-Blood – and still a little bit too neat to seem like an authentic part of the city. It wasn't quite lived-in, yet. But Will hoped that they'd be able to see it develop and age. He hoped that it would become their home neighbourhood.

He reached the shop door. The bell tinkled as he went through. Will made to wave cheerily at the store assistant – but there was no-one there. Will wrinkled his nose. Odd. Maybe they were taking stock, or something. He felt his stomach rumble. He turned down an aisle. Now, should he get a box of cereal, or just something for today?

Getting some cereal would be adult and responsible. Show that he could plan ahead. Also, he wouldn't have to come back again tomorrow morning. But, then again, the little pastries that they did were delicious… He started edging towards the bakery.

No. He had to be good. What would his siblings have said back in Camp? He knew what they would have said. They wouldn't have said anything, just given knowing looks at each other. Looks which would have had 'Will lectures others on healthy eating but then notably fails to live up to his own standards' inscribed into them. He would have liked to have said that Nico was a bad influence on him, but that would have been a lie. Nico's eating habits were bad, sure, but his own laxness had long preceded his involvement with Nico. Indeed, for a while, in an effort, he supposed, to impress his new boyfriend, Will had played up his healthy eating lifestyle. But even showing off to Nico had proved no lasting transformation.

Will turned and headed for the cereal. A draught caught him unexpectedly. Will shivered. Where had that come from? Pushing the thought aside, he kept going down towards the cereal.

He hadn't expected there to be quite so much choice. Each god seemed to demand their own brand. Poseidon's (uh, Neptune's) seemed to consist of little anchor shapes. Presumably Percy had been involved in their development, for the anchors were all blue. Will supposed that he should go for his father's brand ( _Sun Flakes_ ) out of vestigial loyalty. And nothing to do with the fact that they looked the most sugary.

He picked a box off the shelf and headed round the end of the aisle, going for the till. He paused. Did he need anything else? Did they have milk? He hadn't checked. He'd been so focused on the fact that there was nothing for breakfast that he'd not actually taken note of what they _did_ have. He should probably get some anyway. He could always drink it.

Will wandered to the fridge. Was this where he'd felt the draught from?

It didn't seem like it.

He shrugged and picked up a pint of milk, hooking the fingers of his cereal-carrying hand through the handle –

Will was startled by a crash. His head jerked up, his free hand moving pointlessly towards his weaponless hip. There – an open door, and a knocked over aisle. Something was wrong!

A robbery? An abduction? A monster – in _New Rome_?

Without further hesitation, Will hurried to the door. A trail of packets led off into the distance and around the corner. He sprinted after them, determined to find out what was going on.

* * *

Will was bent double, one palm pressed against the wall, wheezing, his face red from the effort of running. It had been far too long since he'd done anything like this. He'd really got out of a training routine. He could barely –

He spat a glob of saliva onto the pavement. He felt guilty. Some hypocritical doctor he was going to be. But mostly he felt like all the air had been sucked out of his lungs and that he was going to die…

He was sure that he'd lost whatever or whoever he'd been chasing. He was – _breathe!_ – just too slow. He looked around desperately, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his wrist. There must be some clue as to where they'd gone.

Another clatter – a cylindrical bin, something Will was sure only existed in movies, rolled out of an alleyway a hundred metres away. Though it seemed rather too coincidentally convenient, Will felt certain that this was where he should continue his chase. He hoped so – he wasn't sure his fitness would let him last much longer.

He took a step towards the alley, trying to quieten his panting breaths. He paused.

What if this thief was really tough? Will wasn't tough. Nuh-uh. Not against actual people. Monsters were OK, you could work up an antipathy to them, but with people, he was stuck between not wanting to hurt them and being kind-of terrified that they might hurt him. He bruised easily. His feelings, too.

Nico said he punched like a girl. But Will had seen Annabeth punch things. And he was _way_ worse than that. In fact he'd seen Aphrodite girls punch better than him. Well, he'd seen Piper, at least. Will reckoned that this was a misogynist insult to girls. He'd told Nico this. It turned out that Nico tweaked people's noses like, well, Nico. It had been bright red all day. Like Rudolf. Or a drunk.

But that was beside the point. There was someone here whom Will needed to bring to justice. Or something.

If nothing else, he had the element of surprise. It might be his only weapon, but that didn't mean that he couldn't be effective. So, Will crept along to the corner of the alley, counted to three in his head, and then jumped out.

"Aha! Got you now!" he cried, feeling slightly stupid as he did so.

The pile of boxes at the end of the dead-end alley shook.

"There's no way out. Just come on out, and we'll go back to the shop and there's no harm done."

Nothing. Silence. A rustle on the breeze.

"It's over. Give yourself up." Will tried to remember what they said on those police shows Nico loved watching. "The game's up. You're surrounded. This is a stake-out. Gimme 10 ccs of adrenaline – _stat_."

Will wasn't sure that that last one was quite right. He might have mixed his genres –

A little grey head poked out above a box.

Oh.

"You're a squirrel?" said Will, immediately wondering why he'd said it out loud.

In response, the squirrel held the remnant of a packet of brazil nuts to its mouth and chewed furiously. To be honest, it probably wasn't in _response_ , but it did it _after_ Will asked it a pointless question.

Will wasn't sure what to do now. Were squirrels morally responsible for their actions? Probably not. They lacked reason, after all. They were a lesser rank of creature, beneath morality. As Aristotle had said. In general – it wasn't like Aristotle had made any specific points about squirrels. Did squirrels even exist in Ancient Greece? Will wasn't sure. He'd heard something or other about grey squirrels being North American, and outcompeting the native European red squirrel.

Come to think of it, he reckoned that squirrel actually _was_ a Greek-based word. So maybe they did have squirrels. But what was his point, again?

Will wasn't quite sure. Oh. Yes. Whether or not the squirrel had moral responsibility or not. Um. Probably not. It was, after all, just a squirrel. And it was quite cute.

He wagged a finger at it, deciding that it was best to treat it like a naughty child. Or Nico. "Don't do it again, OK?"

The squirrel kept eating, oblivious to its reprimand.

Will decided he'd take that as squirrel contrition. He didn't reckon he'd get much more out of it. Then he realised what he was doing.

Oh, _gods_ he needed to get a life.

Will checked his watch. 7:38. He groaned. There was no way he'd have time for breakfast now. And he was ages away from the shop. And the flat. And even further away from the university. He wouldn't even have time to go home and change. He sniffed. Or shower. He ran a hand over his chin. Or shave. He looked down. He'd even come out in his pyjamas, just throwing his hoodie over the top. This was going to be embarrassing. At least he'd changed out of his slippers.

Will's stomach rumbled. And he'd left the food back in the shop –

He frowned at what was in his hand. A box of cereal and a pint of milk. Oh. Had he _paid_ for that? Um. No. So that meant…

Shoplifter-Will felt very guilty. Not guilty enough to stop himself eating dry handfuls of cereal, though.

What? He was hungry! Really, really hungry…

He _so_ needed Nico back.

* * *

 **Solo Will. He's adorable.**

 **Those of you who have left reviews are very kind. Thank you.**


	6. Politics

**Politics**

* * *

"And as Cicero once told this Senate, in the days of the old Republic –"

Nico hid his yawn behind the hem of his toga. These meetings were _so_ boring. Bored. Bored. Bored. The Romans liked to drone on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and – _zzzz_ …

And then they'd quote stuff. Long passages in Latin from Virgil, or Cicero, or Seneca, or whoever, just to back up their points. And, not that Nico didn't appreciate a bit of classical poetry, classical allusion, or classical rhetoric, but the emphasis was on _a bit_. These Romans just didn't know when to stop.

He looked across the Senate floor to where the about-to-be citizens sat. They would become citizens at the end of the session. If it ever ended. Maybe this was some kind of endurance trial. See which of them was still conscious by the end. Which of them were still _alive_.

He locked eyes with Will, who was in the second row of the at-some-point-before-the-end-of-time initiates. Will smiled at him. Nico felt tingly. He liked that Will still made him feel tingly just by smiling. Nico – and no-one was to know this – liked feeling tingly. And it wasn't even a euphemism. It was like pins-and-needles.

Oh dear. Now Will was making faces. Quite funny faces. He would not laugh. No. Not here. Not in the Senate. Not in public!

Nico shoved his toga over his nose to stifle a giggle. A small sound still escaped, like a startled sneeze. A couple of people near-by looked at him with concern. Nico dropped the toga, showing his face to be as stern and stony as usual.

Will looked irritatingly pleased with himself.

Nico frowned at a discoloured mark on the black material. How had he got that?

His lip twitched. Oh, yeah…

Will, it turned out, rather liked Nico in a toga.

Nico, of course, was neutral on the subject of Will in a toga. Well, inclining to –

He tried listening to the speeches to distract himself:

"Or, for the benefit of our Greek friends, who lack such knowledge –"

That didn't last long. Nico wrinkled his nose. Snobby Roman git. It had been years. He didn't know why some people still hadn't gotten over it. Or even why it was a problem at all. Or why the Romans thought that _they_ were the superior civilization. Nico looked around the building. Pretty much everything Roman was nicked from the Greeks. Except the massive sticks that Romans seemed to like to keep shoved up their –

Will was pulling faces again.

Nico wondered if anyone else could see him. If anyone else was paying attention to him. Nico, of course, was biased – he couldn't really imagine paying attention to anything other than Will if he was in the vicinity. Not that he'd tell Will that. He'd think he'd turned all soppy.

Will would likely be right about that.

But, a pseudo-rational part of Nico's brain piped up, it was entirely logical to do so. Just _look_ at him! Why would you want to do anything else? Especially in that toga.

Another, more flustered, part of Nico's brain insisted that he should _shut up_ about the toga.

The other part of Nico's brain ignored him. Look at his bare arm, for example. Slightly soft and – above the usual end of his t-shirt – surprisingly pale. Will wasn't – indeed, had never been – muscular. He was, instead, of an average pliability. Nico wasn't bothered. He had no interest in his boyfriend having the body of a Greek god. He had, after all, met all of them. And to that little dimply smile none of them held a candle.

Nico shifted in his seat, momentarily uncomfortable. He reckoned this meeting was sending his bottom to sleep.

That irregular triangle from Will's neck to shoulder to chest was good, too, piped up the irritating voice in the back of his head.

The other part of Nico betrayed him, and agreed.

* * *

How did this lot ever get anything done?

Nico couldn't even remember what they were debating. He looked down at his agenda. Which one were they at? Refurbishing the barracks? No, he reckoned they'd already passed that. How had he voted? He didn't remember. That was quite bad. But this was quite boring. Permission for building new houses? Nico didn't think so. Border patrol? Nico's nose wrinkled. Why was that even a Senate matter – surely it was the responsibility of the legion? He supposed that if he'd actually listened, he might have found out.

He hoped nothing important had been decided. Or, worse, something _he'd_ have to do.

There were so many better ways of spending this time that Nico could think of.

Will gave him a coy little wave. Nico bit his lip.

Will winked. Nico glanced around furtively, and then winked back. Will beamed. Nico felt like he might need sunglasses.

Will stuck his tongue out – a red flash darting in and out. Nico snorted.

The speaker looked around at him, frowning. Nico motioned for him to continue.

'Look what you did.' mouthed Will.

Nico rolled his eyes and went back to not listening to what was happening.

* * *

The drone had stopped. It was quiet now. Hmm.

Nico looked up.

Why was everybody staring expectantly at him?

Oh.

He stood up and walked slowly forwards, as if he'd always intended to go about this in a drawn-out and measured way.

"I would like to present, for the Senate's approval, the candidates for citizenship."

He read the list. At each person he paused to allow for any dissent. There was none – everyone had been thorough checked beforehand. So nobody said anything. Except when he got to "William Solace!", and there had been some whistling. He didn't need to look to know that it came from the place where Jason and Percy were sitting. He'd get them for it later. He always did.

But, then again, it had caused some indignant elderly tutting at the breaking of the solemnity of Senate procedure. So maybe he'd let them off. But, then again, again, probably not.

* * *

The thing was, though everyone pretended otherwise, the ceremony was not traditional. It hadn't existed prior to the revelation of the two camps, and had been put together in quite an _ad hoc_ manner a few years earlier. One day, it would be long-established; for now, people just acted like it was.

Maybe that was how things became traditions. One day people forgot that they weren't.

* * *

"I thought about voting against you, you know."

Will raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend. "Yeah?" He stabbed a cocktail stick into an olive. "That wasn't very nice."

Nico's mouth twitched. "Well, I had to think of the city."

"But you didn't. And –" Will plucked at his toga "– here I am!"

"Mmm. I was expecting someone else to step in, but, no." Nico looked forlornly at a nearby column. "So long, Rome."

Will snorted. Then his eyes lit up. "Ooh! Cheese and pineapple!"

Nico eyed the collection of empty cocktail sticks that Will was compiling. "Had enough yet?"

Will shook his head. "I love things like this! Fancy an olive?"

"Yeah, OK." Nico held out his hand. Will had other ideas –

"Here comes the aeroplane! Open wide!"

To avoid making a scene in public, Nico felt he had no option to comply. But he intended to make it plain to Will how much his compliance was under duress. At least no-one saw.

"He say that to you a lot, does he?"

Nico scowled. "Percy!" He turned around, and looked reproachfully at Annabeth. She rolled her eyes and punched Percy on the arm.

"Ow!"

"Hey, Will," she said. "Congratulations!"

Will laughed. "I didn't really have to do all that much."

Annabeth shrugged. "It's more symbolic."

"Of how much of a waste of time Roman ceremonies are…" muttered Nico. He turned a dismissive glance towards Will. "And, for your information, Percy, I don't need to open anywhere near as wide as he thinks I need to."

Pink, Will bit his lower lip, and paid close attention to the pattern of his sandals. "So, uh – how was the vacation?"

"Hawaii was great –" started Annabeth.

"So much surfing!" broke in Percy. "You'd have loved it, Will."

Will frowned. "I don't know how to surf."

Percy raised his eyebrows. "Really? But there's that surfboard in your flat –"

"Mine," said Nico. His mouth twitched up at the side. "Did you not know that?"

Percy blinked. "I – I – I'm just having trouble picturing this –"

"We'll go some time." Nico sighed. "I'll _prove_ it to you."

"Cool!" Percy grinned. "Can you –"

"Anything else about Hawaii?" asked Will, pointedly.

With a twinkle of a smile, Annabeth launched into a history of the tribes of Hawaii, their incorporation into United States, and how they'd met Poseidon on one of the beaches. He was, apparently, excellent at barbequing fish.

* * *

"Afternoon, citizen."

Nico smiled at Jason. Beside him, he felt Will straighten a little, before seeing him flash a smile at his friend and launch into an excited conversation. For some reason, Will always seemed a bit self-conscious around Jason. They got on really well, but Will always seemed on the edge of embarrassment when Jason was around. Nico – after a period of suspecting that it might be jealousy – had eventually figured out what it was. Will saw Jason as a kind-of perfect physical version of himself. Of them both, it was surprising to find that it was Will, and not Nico, who was insecure about his body. Nico had therefore spent a long time doing what Will normally did: talking sense to an anxious boyfriend. And Nico like to think that it had been a success.

It certainly wasn't stopping Will ploughing through the cheese sticks, anyway…

"So, what do I have to _do_ , now I'm a citizen?"

Jason pondered. "Uh…"

Nico laughed. "You used to be praetor, Jason."

Sheepish, Jason shrugged. "Well, I guess you have the right to speak at Senate meeting."

"Woo!" said Nico, waving his fists in the air.

"And, um, I think everything else you could do before. Maybe it's a bit more official now. But, to be honest, we're not as rigid about enforcing status as you might think."

"Uh-huh."

"But congratulations all the same!" said Jason. "And," he said, leading Will towards the centre of the party, "I think it's the citizen's first duty to enjoy himself!"


	7. Rhetoric

**Rhetoric**

* * *

"Nico…"

"I have so much work to do. Sorry, Will."

Will watched morosely as Nico turned back to his books on the kitchen table.

"But it's ten – gone ten, actually!"

"That doesn't subtract from the amount of work I have to do."

Will pulled a face and slumped over the edge of the sofa. He glared at the ceiling. "You should have done this earlier. It's not good to leave things to the last minute. It gives you unnecessary stress, and the end result's probably not as good as it could be."

"Yes." Nico didn't even look up from his essay.

"Procrastination is pointless because it only extends the amount of time something takes."

"Mmm. I'm aware."

"And we agreed!" grumbled Will. "I cleared my schedule. I put back some things and did others early. We were having a free night."

"I _know_ , Will!" snapped Nico. He hung his head a little lower over his work. "And I'm sorry, OK? It didn't work out."

"Sometimes I think you don't even _want_ to hang out." He deepened his voice. "Or anything else…"

"Come on, Will, you know that's not true!"

"Then why this? Why the urge to work?"

Nico hung his head. "Because I'm useless, OK? I can't manage my time like you can. And I have to get this done."

"Fine…"

* * *

Will flopped over Nico's shoulders, looping his arms around his neck. "Are you done yet?"

"Surprisingly, no."

Will groaned. "Come _on_ …" He squinted down at Nico's handwriting. "Is it even important?"

Nico tried to shrug his boyfriend's arms off of his shoulders. "Yes!"

"It's not like it counts, though?"

"Well, no. But I still have to do it."

"Aw, but all that will happen is your professor will get angry with you." Will bent down, trying to plant an upside-down kiss on Nico's lips.

"That's fine for you to say." Nico twisted out of Will's grip, wrinkling his nose. Will's breath stank of the Chinese he'd ordered some time earlier, half of which was congealing in its foil tray next to Nico's books. "I'd rather it not happen."

"Then you should have done this earlier."

"Yeah. You're right. I know. You've said. I've apologised. Can I get on with this, please?"

Will sighed, and slunk back to the sofa. They should keep magazines here just for this kind of thing. He'd have magazines in his waiting room, if he was ever the kind of doctor that had a waiting room.

* * *

"Can I help?"

"What?"

"Is there a way that I can make this go faster?"

"You can _shut up_!" Nico heard the slight indrawn breath. He immediately felt bad. "I – I – I didn't mean that to sound –"

"I know what you meant," said Will, his teeth snapping shut over the 't'.

Nico didn't want to look round, to see the taut expression that he knew was on Will's face. So he tok what he thought was the easy way out, and didn't. He wrote a bit more of his essay. He flipped between books. He heard Will shift about on the sofa, and then go very still. There was complete silence for some time.

Then Nico found that that was worse. The silence was heavy. It pressed on him. His pen kept slipping – he kept stopping – he could feel Will's eyes on him – or worse, deliberately looking away, or just blankly staring – or –

He wanted Will to still be talking. He didn't care how distracting he was. But this silence – it was louder than the noise had been. He could barely hear Will breathe.

He wanted to turn round, to apologise, to try and make things better. He didn't know what to say. And he still had this work to do. Which he had done none of since he'd snapped at Will. He bent his head, ashamed, and tried to work.

No. He would talk to him. Sorry would probably be a good start. He lifted his pen, and –

"I'm going to bed."

Nico turned. "Oh – are you – you shouldn't – just –"

"I won't wait up."

Nico looked at Will. Two cold and hard blue eyes stared back.

"Night," said Will, lips tight.

He walked past Nico to the hall. Nico went to take his hand, to kiss it, to get his customary goodnight kiss, or a pat on the head, or a smile, or anything –

Will brushed the movement aside, and kept on walking.

Nico heard the bedroom door open, and then close with a firm _thud_. Was that a slam? Was it Will's version of a slam? Nico didn't know. They'd never –

He stared down at his essay. He _needed_ to get this done.

They'd never gone to bed without resolving an argument.

* * *

Nico wrote a few more sentences. He couldn't concentrate, though. He flung down his pen, furious with himself. His eyes pricked with angry tears. Stupid essay! Stupid procrastination!

Stupid Nico.

If he closed his eyes, he could hear Will in the bedroom, in the bathroom, running the tap. He could see him playing with the toothbrush: pretending that he was conducting an orchestra, trying to do shadow-puppets, wetting the bristles and sucking the water off; watching carefully that Nico was brushing properly. Sometimes they'd swordfight with them. Though those times often ended up with Will having to get his first aid kit out.

That was what happened when they went to bed. That was what happened every night. Every other night.

He could hear Will getting into bed. A light-switch clicked. Was that on or off? They both like to read before bed. Some nights, anyway. Was Will reading tonight? What was Will reading at the moment? Nico could remember. He could see the cover. A tangled web of thorny branches. Slightly stylised. A bit of an arty book. Literary, even. A but weighty, Nico often thought, for bedtime reading.

Will would mock him for his decidedly flimsier tastes. Murder mysteries. Thrillers. Even the odd trashy romance novel.

This wasn't a scenario often mentioned.

Was Will even reading tonight? Or had he just gone to bed? To sleep? Would Nico go in, whenever he went in, to find his boyfriend asleep? To not speak to him, to let this all hang in suspense, until morning? Or to find him sullenly awake, refusing to speak? Would that be worse? Or, what if Will was asleep, but Nico coming in woke him up, pissing him off even more?

Maybe it would be better not to go to bed at all.

But what if Will _was_ waiting for him? Then that would make things even worse.

Maybe he should go back to the essay. What was it even about? He didn't care. It had seemed important earlier; it had even seemed interesting. But now he had no idea what he had been doing.

His hand wavered towards his pen, but then the essay, and the world, dissolved behind a fresh set of tears. Why now? Why couldn't he keep his head?

His heart rising in his throat, Nico got up from the desk. His essay would stay unfinished. He stood with one hand on the back of the chair for some time, not wanting to move, but hating the fact that he didn't.

His eyes wandered to the clock. 23:15. That wasn't all that late. When had all this started? When had Will gone to bed? Nico knew that it couldn't have been that long. He looked at the disgusting looking pot of solidifying brown that had been his dinner. When had that arrived – half-seven? Almost eight?

Suddenly decisive, he carried it through to the kitchen and chucked it in the bin. He turned back to the hall. He'd faced worse things than this. This was only Will.

Only, this was _Will_.

* * *

Eventually, Nico went into their bedroom. It was dark, the curtains were shut, and there was a Will-sized lump bundled up in the sheet. From the bumps Nico could see, it looked like Will was facing away from the door.

"Will?" he said softly.

No reply.

"Are you awake?"

Stupid, childish, question. Was he expecting Will to say no? Will said nothing. The sheets stayed still.

Nico stepped a bit closer to the bed. "Um. Well, if you are awake, then I just want to say that I'm sorry. For, uh, snapping at you. I was stressed out, and I took it out on you, and I shouldn't have done, and, um, yeah… I'm sorry."

No reply.

"And, also, I'm sorry that I messed everything up. I know you worked hard to free up some time. I should have done that too. I was an idiot. I thought I'd be fine. So, I'm sorry there, too. Um." Nico hesitated, and then, almost to himself, carried on speaking. "Of course, if you're not awake, then I'm even more of an idiot for monologuing into nothing. Which I'm still doing. Though, if you are awake, then you just heard me say that. And that. And –"

Nico was sure he heard something between a snort and a laugh.

"Will?"

Nothing. Just wishful thinking.

As quietly as he could, Nico took off his top and trousers, took his pyjamas from under his pillow, and dressed in them. With a last, sad, hopeful glance at the hidden figure of Will, he lowered himself onto the bed. There wasn't a lot of the sheet left. But he didn't want to ask Will. Will probably wouldn't have wanted to reply.

Nico lay on one side, looking at Will's back. He couldn't. He went to roll onto his back –

"I don't think so."

An arm snaked out of the cocoon of sheets and dragged a startled Nico into them. A smile bright enough to see even in the dark lit up the inside of the covers.

"I knew I'd get you to stop writing."

* * *

Later, Nico got in trouble for not handing his work in on time. But he could deal with that kind of trouble.

And it never happened again. Not because of his respect for his teacher. Oh, no. (Though he did.) Rather, Nico realised, and Will mildly, but decidedly firmly, indicated, that he'd run rather too close to seriously upsetting his boyfriend. And Nico didn't think testing Will's patience any more than he usually did was a good idea.

Of course, the next time they tried to have a night off –

* * *

"Will…"

"I have so much work to do. Sorry, Nico."

"Oh." Hypocrite.

Nico slumped on the sofa and closed his eyes. He would be patient. He would show Will that he was calm and tolerant. He –

His eyes flew open and he gasped as a weight landed on his stomach. Will, sitting on him, grinned.

"Just kidding."

* * *

 **Poor Nico, this time. Kind-of.**


End file.
